Lolita.
- Chelsea: Have you read Lolita yet?
- Kevin: We've been through this, I empathised so much with Humbert Humbert that I had to put it down for two weeks.
- Chelsea: EW EW EW. Okay, something else then.
- Kevin: Yes, something else entirely.
Recovery.
I haven’t written much about me as of late, hell, I haven’t written much in my journals as of late. But here’s something new, I logged onto my Facebook, looked around a bit. Chelsea changed her photo, it’s her with her man, amazingly, I felt no emotion but (not totally) sincere joy, I just didn’t feel totally and irreparably insane.
It’s been a while for my progress to get this far and I’m happy it’s where it’s at. My feels are under control and that’s good, I’m proud of myself for being able to get over my emotions and keep them controlled.
I’d like to say I’m fully recovered, but that 1 % says I’m lying.
Broke fairy godmother.
- K: Might get Felicity something for Valentines just for the lulz.
- C: You're a broke student saving up for a big trip, you're better than that!
- K: You really know what to say to avoid me spending money don't you?
- C: Mhm, I'm your broke fairy godmother.
- K: Honestly, that sounds like a pretty decent show.
- C: You mean, turning our lives into a TV series?
- K: Broke Fairy Godmother and it plays like Seinfeld.
- C: OH MY GOSH.
"Just… Just don’t fall for the idea of her, fall for her."
Chelsea
She's looking pretty.
- Kev: Yeah, she asked to push it back to one.
- Chels: She's only saying that so she looks pretty for you. ;)
- Kev: Omg...
Final Phase.
Being in this last phase of moving on, I’ve asked her to make me a promise. That’s to not tell me anything more than I already know now about her man. One day I’ll have to meet him, but that time isn’t now. All I know, is that he exists and that he gets to hold her, he gets to be with her and I’m slowly accepting the fact that I will have to be okay with this completely before I can truly get on with the rest of me.
Perhaps this is why she’s great, because she cares. When I do mention something, she cares about how it’s going to turn out and I… I’m just left speechless sometimes. One day I’ll probably be okay with meeting him, I’m not bitter, I’m just in a fractured state of mind and I’m resetting the pieces back into place.
We’re in the final phase and relapsing is out of the question, we’re almost there, we truly are and I can’t wait for that release. For the day that I can be free from my own shackles and reset my thoughts. I just want to be free, perhaps this is the way to go.
I bought a friend a copy of The Fault In Our Stars, she promised to finish it as soon as she could. She finished it tonight.
“I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You” written by and illustrated by Yumi Sakugawa, published in Sadie Magazine, 2012.
Pretend.
- C: Why don't you just pretend you already have someone.
- K: When has that EVER worked?
- C: I guess you're right, she is a girl after all.
- K: Exactly.
Notice that?
- Kev: Notice that anytime I made an offer she'd make an excuse?
- Rossi: Yup.
- Kev: Yup.
